Time’s a pip

I look into your future now, and what do I see…?

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The kid

The kid has brought something to this arrangement which is hard to make sense of.

On one hand he’s funny sometimes. He does really silly things and he behaves like a kook. Every night after his walk, for example, he gets his feet washed and he runs around the living room and dining room at a gallop like a fully-fledged lunatic. Once, twice, six times around the furniture as if there’s some strange benefit to this self-imposed exercise regimen. Then he stands there, panting (obviously) and looking at us all like we’re edible or something.

“Hey Pal,” I said, “you turn your hungry attention somewhere else.”

“Woof!”

Other times he gets goofy and makes like he wants to play with one of us, except that he forgets that we are not specially paid and compensated stunt critters – we are sensitive and loving and not in the least bit aggressive. That said, I’m not afraid to butt heads. I slap pretty hard when I have to, and sometimes I have to, to keep him in line. He respects me, I think.

He’d better!

Happiness

Happiness is being safe with your friends.

An Open Letter from Snook

Dere all,

Boy, that sher woz a long trip hear to Mishigan, but as soon as I got hear I knew it was the rite thing too do. I felt wellcomed right away and was immediately taken to see the yung man who needs me. We are geting along reely well and are having lots of fun togethr.

Isaac (thats his name) is hapy to have me hear, but is not reely impressd with my hand writing, or my speling witch he says is werse than his. Here I am trying to practice so I can mayk him hapy.

Snook works on his cursive.

Of corse it’s not all werk. Sometimes we lissen to music togethr and sometimes when he goes owt I put the phones in and lissen on my own. He doesn’t mind, although he’s not crazy about how lowd I have to have it just to here it.

Listening to some music

And then ther are times when he lets me reed stuff. This was a reely neat book about a wizard and stuff – I dont remember us having any books like that back at the Sosiety.

Hear I am reeding

Isaac is a very nice yung man and Im looking forward to getting to know him better. Were stil figgering out what we like and stuff, but Im prety sure we’re going to get along very well for a looooong time.

I miss all you guys teribly, but this is wear I’m meant to be for now. I’m a working Snook now, and I reely love it.

Snook

xx

Arrival

Yay! We’ve heard from Snook now that he’s arrived in Michigan. He says he’s fine and happy (although a little jet-lagged) and has already been united with Isaac and he really likes him and he’s going to be happy to work with him to help turn his frowns upside-down.

We’re waiting on a photo of Snook in his new location. For now, here he is last week saying farewell before heading for the airport – that’s him at the back, sitting in between Snerk and Ralph. It was an emotional meeting, but now as he embarks on his mission to help a most-deserving young man, the emotions are all new.

“I’m very excited,” he said, “to see what I can do to help. I’ve trained hard, and that’s just great, but now it’s time to put it all to work.”

Stay tuned.

Volunteer

At a recent Society meeting UJ told us of a fine young man named Isaac, in Michigan, who, he has learned, has never had the benefit of the friendship, the companionship, the love of a critter – at all – in his life, and he asked for a volunteer to go to this young man and be what he needs now.

I am proud to say that Snook – brother to Snerk and Snick and Snuck and Sneek – immediately put up his paw and said that he would be happy to go and put his training to good use with Isaac, and this has already been put in to effect. Society funds were used to arrange portage, and he is on his way as we speak.

We will miss Snook, but we understand he is going to a place where he will be loved very much, and that makes us happy.

This truly is what being a critter is all about.

Homework

Today UJ woke me up early.

“Hey, you gotta type your own blog today, I think I’m getting carpal.”

I looked at him, dazed, and confused.

“You’re going to pull a car where?”

“No no – carpal tunnel syndrome,” he held up his right forearm, “here, in my wrist.”

“Does it hurt?” I asked.

“It does seem to, yes. It’s like a numbness in my pinky finger. The other night it actually woke me up.”

“I’m not jealous,” I said. “But then, I’ve got my own troubles.”

“Like what?”

“Like the pooch.”

“What about him?”

“He keeps looking at us like he’s hungry.”

“Well, he usually is. Does this really bother you?”

“A little. I’ve taken care of him before, lots of times, but he’s bigger now, and the last few times we set-to it’s taken a lot longer to subdue him.”

“Can’t you reason with him?”

“Ha! He’s thirteen pounds of stubborn, obstreperous determination, sometimes even you have trouble keeping him in line.”

“Good point, though I will always win.”

“That’s why we’re such good friends.”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Nah! You’re kinda cute, too!”

I mean, I must occasionally say something to make him feel good, mustn’t I?

Halloween

We’re going tomorrow to help with the local Halloween effort – the creation of a haunted house at the old community hall.

We all have different jobs.

Mine, of course, is to supervise. It’s very important to have proper supervision over a task so large, and believe you me, I will crack the whip.

Snerkie and the rest of the smaller critters will don costumes and pretend to be rats and mice, running all over the floor, scaring all the little children half out of their wits.

Murray will lead a band of critters in carrying knives around – like slashers – and jumping out at the children as they pass by. Don’t worry, they are plastic knives – enough to convince a little one for a moment, but no one else.

Charlene the cute chick has put together a bowl of wet, squidgy stuff like hamburger and noodles and spaghetti, for the kids to put their hands in while blindfolded – that always scares the heck out of them.

Graham and Eugene will be in charge of music and eerie sounds – the better to set the mood.

Barry and Benji Bear will work the smoke machine in the cemetery – to welcome the victi – Er – visitors to the Haunted Mansion.

One of the Poops brothers came to me the other day while we were planning all this and said “I wish it could be Halloween all year round – it’s just so much fun!”

Sidney

Preparing the crowd for Halloween.

Snow

Well, he tried it again, but again we put him in his place. The very idea! Ridiculous!! How can we possibly pick up a snow shovel and push it so that it does what it was designed to do? In the first place, we’re not tall enough, and in the second place it’s just too heavy for us – and that’s before it’s got snow on it!

It’s snowing tonight – that’s why the matter even came up. Every year he ‘floats the idea’, and every year we shoot it down. Of course, I fully understand: he’s back in school, he hasn’t got time to do it himself, he needs help. But what on earth can we do?

No, I think we’ll have to stick to having society meetings and discussing the antics of the puppy, Rusty. Little fella was quite a handful at first, but I soon put him in his place!

Seems to be quite a lot of that going on, huh?

Sidney

Treats

Snerk here. This was on one of our summer road trips this year. I remember it well, except for where we went and when, and how long it took. I do remember getting hungry at one point when the Prez was doing the spotting and turning around and asking UJ if he had anything to eat.

Rather than answer, he whipped out his camera and snapped a shot of me and my brother, Snick.

We never did get anything to eat! Hey, where does a guy go to file a complaint?